Monday, May 18, 2009

20 Crimes Caught on Google Street View

Reckless Driving
"I didn't realize this was a no parking tree."
Mildly Reprehensible Knievel.
Timmy made extra money working as a bicycle airbag.


2. Burglary/Theft

Either this is Spiderman's laundry day, or this guy's trying to break in.
It's awfully nice of him to steal a bicycle for his imaginary friend.
I'm thinking that's not the Staples parking lot.


3. Vandalism/Destruction of Property

Short on money, Joe tried deserpately to paint an ATM.
Before she buys a car, she kicks the tires...and the door...and the side-view mirror...and the salesman.


4. Public Intoxication

In his defense, that light pole would fall down if he wasn't there.
Few have seen the alley behind Sesame Street.
The park: where everybody knows your name.


5. Assault and Battery

This beatdown went on for 16 units!
Practicing for their middle school production of Rocky III.
Never too young to commit a felony.


6. Indecent Exposure

Trying to build up her resume for that Girls Gone Wild application.


7. Brandishing a Deadly Weapon

We're pretty sure this is a toy gun.
This, on the other hand...
"There can be only one!"


8. Illegal Parking

Unless this is a hover car, it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
"The white curb is for gelato loading and unloading only..."
Citation for Driving a Vespa While Male.


9. Prostitution

Even Cinderella was hurt by the recession.
Must be the car.
oo
Hooker? I hardly know her!


10. Joyriding



OK, this is a Google Earth photo, but it's clear that someone's taking their frustrations out on a baseball field.


11. Underage Smoking

Blurring your hair won't hide your shame.


12. Speeding

Busted.
Erik Estrada don't play that.
"I'm sorry ma'am, this is a no Schwinn situation."


13. Drug Dealing

That car was made for buying drugs.
Obviously peddling crack.


Obviously peddling crack.
14. Jaywalking
Not using a crosswalk...
Not waiting for the light...
Not living in reality.


15. Lewd Behavior


I don't wanna know what's going on here...OK, maybe I do.
Can't you at least wait 'til you get home to blow it up?
16. Failure to Obey a Street Sign
The Google car is apparently above the law.


17. Arson?

Aftermath of the Great Tulip Riot of '07.
What fire?


18. Public Urination

A menage-a-tinkle.
"The bush was on fire."
Guilty.


19. Stalking

"Soon, that sarong will be mine..."


20. Unspecified Offenses

"Sir, your rims are just too shiny."
"I swear, someone put that construction cone in my pants."
When the police station runs out of coffee, 7-11 gets shut down.