10. The Stoned Dog
Oh sure, the old my-dog-ate-the-pot-stash-it-stumbled-upon-in-the-woods. Lady, you think anyone believes this pot wasn't yours? You live in Seattle! The dog is fine now, except for the paranoia, munchies, and newfound belief that Carlos Mencia is funny.
9. The Cat Who Uses A Door Knocker
Teach it to wear a backpack full of The Watchtower, and you've got the world's most adorable Jehovah's Witness.
8. The Creepy Jumping Death-Eyed Fuzzball
We've posted a couple of times about the pygmy jerboa, which is cute 'n' cuddly. Its cousin the Greater Egyptian Jerboa-- not so much. The Greater Egyptian Jerboa needs to stop walking around and staring at everybody like that, because it's creeping us out. Plus the sudden, startling leaps? My nerves are shot. GET IT OUT!
7. The Affectionate Owl
We learned in elementary school that owls eat rats, then in community college that owls foretell death in bad novels. So what's this rat-eating death-foreteller doing acting all "I need your lovin'" for? Two answers: Death beckons anon, or its bowl is empty. Time to head to Petco for rat innards.
6. The Rat Who Loves Cats
Stop challenging our perceptions, Rat Who Loves Cats! You're supposed to live in a cutely decorated hole in the baseboard, float blissfully atop cheese-smell, and HATE CATS! Stop being weird. And Cat Who Tolerates Rat? You're a f*cking p*ssy. And we don't mean that in a pun way, either.
5. The Half-Cat, Half-Slinky
Before you watch: This cat has working legs. At first we felt bad, like maybe we were laughing at a handicapped cat who had a spinal condition or fell out of a window or something. Nope. Just a cat who's desperate for attention. Nobody likes a show-off. Slinky Cat.
4. The Kitten With The World's Strangest Meow
Kitty, the word is "Meow," not whatever the hell you're saying. Every other cat in the world pronounces it correctly. What, is this how you heard them say it on NPR? Elitist.
3. The Attacking Birds Of San Francisco
It's not so weird that birds would want to attack humans. What's weird is how much humans enjoy watching birds attack other humans. Especially set to oddly appropriate music, as in this remix cooked up by the good folks at The Awl.
2. The Agile Hamster
Hamsters running obstacle courses: weird or practical? In this economy, not everyone can afford a talented dog. A talented hamster is the next best thing. And, if things get especially dire, the smaller portions may prevent the horrible, hunger-fueled temptation that a succulent black lab could not.
1. The Dudes Dressed Up Like Dogs
Not really animals, but weird nonetheless. But nobody can make weird funny like Josh Fadem and Paul Rust. Except, maybe, a jerboa.
