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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
