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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
