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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
