Sunday, October 4, 2009

Architectural Horrors

When "Oops!" is immortalized in stone

It's not easy to fix an error once it's literally "cast in stone" and turned into an atrocious building, which somehow gets approved by the (obviously drunk) quality inspectors.

Maybe builders just hope that future occupants would not mind seeing these blunders too much (as long as they are non-life-threatening) - but surely, a more sensitive soul just might get really disturbed and go nuts... inside all this architectural chaos:







Forms & Shapes from the Endlessly Creative Minds of (Drunk) Architects:

This cottage is under construction, but already makes a statement: "Smells like a Russian Spirit", it says -



Cottage house that has a dream to be a castle one day... or rather, a nightmare:



This apartment building ended up under the bridge - imagine the living conditions there, noise, vibration, etc...




Ugly!!! Did they model it after a dump truck? -



This road police booth would take off and chase the offending car, just as any flying saucer:



Frankenstein would not live in this.... but Igor might:



In Ukrainian city Truskavetz you can have a beer inside a coffin-shaped bar, called "The Eternity". How appropriate -




The interior decoration is even more mind-boggling. Get your drink - maybe your last one! - and choose your coffin at the same time:





The structure under the balcony here looks like a miniature prison, or dungeon... What horrors are concealed inside? -



Wishful thinking: this sign says "Paradise". Very inviting entryway, isn't it? -



One more about balconies: this guy obviously despaired about his balcony thing, so he put a sign over it: "Balcony For Sale!" -



Any buyers? Not if it looks like this inside:



Is this building falling, or what? -



More support horror stories:



No need for support here:



Structural failure...



This does not look to be too stable:



And this is definitely NOT straight:



What is this? A one-room apartment for a house elf? -



Make more holes for the airconditioner! (improving air intake?)



No trains should enter here -



All cranes are doomed to fall sooner or later.... luckily no one was killed in this:





These apartments are overpriced. (well, we know these are temporary shacks for construction workers, but it's still funny) -



Stairs should lead somewhere, unless they don't -



Aww, teenie-weenie escalator! -



Hangover got in the way? Complete disconnect:



Washrooms never cease to amaze: some hilarious hybrid of shower stall and toilet, found in Ukraine:



Gotta love this piping masterpiece:




Murals, Embellishments, etc.

This mural is a little bit creepy - all these people staring at you in the windows -



This girl clearly has an extra finger:



A quintessential street art - a classic framed painting hangs over the sewer piping. Must be there for the enjoyment of all the highly-cultured Ukrainian workers:



Steampunk horse sculpture, which is actually quite awesome:



Another interesting sculpture - a tree, plagued by... chairs:



A palace in the clouds... very inspiring:




These guys knows what they're doing

Local Spider man struts his stuff:



The strength is there, but what about intelligence? (Do we have to ask...)



Somebody designed it and approved it:



Witness the architectural richness of one Russian general's "dacha" (cottage):
note his car parked nearby




Something old, something new -


A building in Romania, Bucharest, Revolutiei Plaza

A zipper -



No earthquake is responsible for this (the bridge is brand new) -



This billboard is better avoided in windy weather (note the securing bolts, looks pretty flimsy) -



That's great - almost your own "Ripley's Believe It or Not"-styled cottage:




You must've seen similarly topsy-turvied "Wonder Works" building in Orlando:







Some mad architecture can only be considered as irony. Here is, for example, an interesting Church Metamorphosis:

This is not a church any more - turned into a water tower:
(seen in Curon Venosta, Northern Italy, near Stelvio Pass)




In an opposite way, this water tower masquerades as a church:



This church is pretty much out of options:



In the meantime people witness the arrival of Electric Spaghetti Monster:



Plumbing gets complicated:



Nobody can tell me what this is:
(maybe an altar to the gods of construction? They need all the forgiveness they can get)




Police somewhere in Ukraine do not seem to mind squeezing into extremely small booths:



...or being crammed into the even smaller containers (the sign says "Police open from 8am to midnight" - I hope they don't stay for sleep in there)



Another way to solve your bank's financial woes:



Somebody needed logs for his fireplace? -






Must be from planet Photo shop... -




The Great Lenin Sphinx:



Somebody's been stealing the manhole covers... Well, there is always a fix:



"Double-deckers" are getting more and more popular:





Minimalist drain pipe:



Stairways in the Wilderness:







A hybrid:




Something always happens to the balconies... they have a special karma, I think:







Windows and Doors:







Just build OVER your problems, and they'll disappear:





Bad, bad FAIL:



Need more square footage? Hire extreme and fearless contractors:


An old warehouse in Bath, England, with a wooden winch housing sticking out

Need more square footage for pigeons? Just keep adding to the existing structure:



Interior Decor recycling and re-use in Chelyabinsk, Russia -



The Throne Room:




Should there be some kind of the "Architectural Horrors" theme park, with all sorts of crazy construction going on there - at the safe distance from general public? It will have rare periods of quiet -



and abundance of thrills:





These guys recreated every single line that was on the blueprint! -



Mad designs:









This building clearly needs another (complimentary) part:



Foundation? Basement? Who needs it, lets get more creative:






You probably have seen this before: because of the highly convex (parabolic) shape of the tower's glass facade, the focused sunlight constantly kills every plant alive in a certain spot. This is how Bruce Willis got his haircut -




Oh, I like that. Great idea -



Something somewhere did not work out for these builders... -











Check out these extraordinary set of stairs (and set of chains to support them!) -






More than plumbing. A work of art.







One is labeled "Red", the other "Blue". Can't go wrong here -







The signs says something like: "We provide everything for heating and plumbing" (we make the mess, too) -




There is something in my wa...

Great bike path - are these remains of the recent collision lying around? -



This one will launch you into the air:



...or into the basement:



That's not gonna last:









Some statues don't stay erect for very long (this time earthquake was responsible) -



Whatever it was before... (we really hope it was more than that):



Maybe there is some kind of a beaver creature that chews on sculptures? -





New satellite dishes (and air conditioner) crop is ready:







Somebody traded the rails for vodka? -



Same thing happened to the balconies? -



Best theft protection:






Some drunk ideas can be ingenious



...if potentially deadly:













Why fix the hole? Just wait a little:



Using the old bus as a brick storage:



and old tires to scare your supervisor:



I wonder what he was trying to do, but he's definitely stuck now:



Speaking of drunk builders, they probably use tools like these:



or maybe they drink really strong spirits:





Drunk crane operators are the worst:





Don't park your BMW anywhere close to these guys:









You know you gotta stop drinking, when you start seeing things:





This is a wonderful art piece from Propaganda.




Enter the bathroom (with caution):







Watch for holes in the floor! -




And the winner of the surreal construction is this: What the heck is this??



Stairs into nothing - a classic blunder:















If builders had a little more to drink, the stairs might've turned into a modern art sculpture ("Revolutions", located in Montreal):



Situation with doors is just as dire. They would not open, lead anywhere, or even exist...



Especially when the slogan above the door reads "Have a Successful Working Day!"



or "Sales Center", apparently with a very poor sales record:



Same thing with balconies:








An insurmountable challenge - to properly align windows:







Even harder is to make the ends meet...





We really hope that the picture above is photoshop :)
Speaking of bridges... some would require an extra support:





Things got in the way? Just build around them!





The caption says: "Please be careful when you put revision clouds on your drawings. Some of the contractors do not understand" -



Driveway Oops:







Crazy Garages:



Wrong Placement:

- of heaters and air-conditioners:





- of ATM:



- of camera:



- of toilets:





The only power outlet is on ... the ceiling:



They've been building something for months... Now the Final Results are here! Get yourself a tranquilizer:







Do you think this ad is a pure fantasy?



Think again:



Finally, a "mystery tool" that these workers must've been using: