Monday, January 2, 2012

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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball



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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope





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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw

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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland





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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing

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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown