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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
