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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
