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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
